Anger Management & Counselling

Anger problems

Many people may come to therapy wanting help in managing their anger. Everyone gets angry sometimes. It is is natural human emotion. Yet nobody wants to be an angry person. It is very distressing to feel anger towards those we love. It is deeply humiliating to 'loose  it' at work or overreact in a social situation. It is also a huge challenge parenting angry children and teenagers.

Anger problems can take many different forms. It can result in people hurting themselves or hurting those around them and causing distress to themselves or their relationships. Anger can be very painful - it can take several days to calm down after becoming upset. Some people deal with their anger by displacing it in unhealthy ways (including alcohol, drugs, risk taking). For others may not be at all obvious on the outside but be taking a huge emotional toll on the inside, including physical and emotional symptoms.

Anger Symptoms

Symptoms of anger include:

• Violence or aggression
• Lashing out, verbal or emotional abuse
• Shopping, gambling, relationship sabotage etc
• Sexual promiscuity, affairs, pornography use, risk taking etc
• Using alcohol or drugs to calm down (or wind up)
• Withdrawal, passive aggression, nursing grudges etc
• Physical symptoms (tension, upset, headaches etc)
• Emotional shutdown, fear, avoidance or depression

Patterns of anger include:

• Becoming angry quite often
• Often feeling frustrated and on the edge of anger
• Feeling angry but afraid or unable to communicate it
• Not knowing why you are feeling angry
• Feeling out of control when upset
• Becoming uncontrollably angry from time to time
• Difficulty calming down

Anger Management

There are two steps required in working with anger. The first is anger management; that is practical help in controlling destructive expressions of anger. This requires gaining an understanding the situations that trigger anger so that early warning signs may be noticed and strategies developed for handling these.

Anger Counselling

The second step is understanding the underlying reasons for anger. Counselling offers a space to explore underlying issues while at the same time developing self-awareness and communication skills. The reasons are often complex and well buried. This is why anger so often seems to come out of the blue with little or no warning.

Getting Help

Congratulations on getting this far. Admitting to yourself that you have an anger issue is a huge first step. The next step is asking for help which is often no easy thing. This often requires courage and determination but in the end is better than papering over the cracks

Therapy provides a safe non-judgemental space to make sense of what is happening. It can help in identifying anger triggers, developing new coping strategies, resolving underlying issues and improving relationship and communication skills.

Find a Therapist

Adults

All of our team are experienced in working with anger issues. Find an Auckland Therapist in your area or learn more about the Services we offer.

Children and Teens

See our child, adolescent and family specialists.