Auckland Therapy Counselling and Psychotherapy

Anger Management Counselling

Anger Problems

Everyone gets angry sometimes — it's a natural human emotion. Healthy anger gives us energy to make constructive change and helps us stand up for ourselves. The difficult skill is either to be able to quell our anger or use it constructively. The trouble is when anger turns to aggression and violence or festers on the inside.

It can be deeply humiliating to 'lose it' at work, overreact in a social situation or hurt someone we care about. Inappropriate anger can result in people hurting themselves or hurting those around them or damaging their relationships. 'Losing it' can be very painful - it can take some people several days to calm down after becoming upset.

Holding on to anger can burn us up on the inside, taking a toll on health and wellbeing.  It may not be obvious on the outside, while eating us up on the inside, resulting in frustration, stress, tension, insomnia, digestive problems, headaches, intimacy problems, anxiety and depression. Some people deal with this in unhealthy ways such as alcohol, drugs, bullying, controlling or risk-taking. 

Anger Symptoms

Outward symptoms of unhealthy anger include:

  • Relationship problems & break-ups
  • Violence or aggression
  • Lashing out — verbal or emotional outbursts
  • Using alcohol or drugs to calm down (or wind up)
  • Impulsive acts you later regret
  • Overly controlling or critical behaviour
  • Your kids or partner becoming afraid of you

Inward symptoms of unhealthy anger include:

  • Anxiety, tension, stress, being wound-up, headaches, etc
  • Blame, self pity, remorse
  • Guilt, shame, low self-esteem, loneliness
  • Withdrawal, passive aggression, nursing grudges etc
  • Emotional shutdown, fear, avoidance or depression

Patterns of anger include:

  • Becoming angry quite often
  • Often feeling frustrated and on the edge of anger
  • Blaming others for 'making you angry'
  • Feeling angry but afraid or unable to communicate it
  • Not knowing why you are feeling angry
  • Feeling out of control when upset
  • Difficulty calming down

There Are Solutions

There are two steps required in working with anger. The first is anger management; that is, practical help in controlling unhealthy anger and finding constructive alternatives. This requires gaining an understanding of your triggers so that early warning signs may be noticed and strategies developed for handling these. Clients are often surprised when a few simples changes in their life make a dramatic difference.

The second step is understanding the underlying reasons for anger and making sense of the unresolved feelings. Counselling offers a non-judgmental space to explore underlying issues while at the same time developing practical anger management, self-awareness and communication skills.

Why Auckland Therapy

All of our team are experienced in working with anger issues. As psychotherapists we have a deep understanding of  unconscious process, the impact of the past, relationship dynamics, and the interplay of thoughts, emotions and behaviour. We have the skills and knowledge to work with you respectfully and constructively.

What Next?

Congratulations on getting this far. Now it's time to take the next step. Therapy provides a safe space to make sense of what is happening. It can help in identifying anger triggers, developing new coping strategies, resolving underlying issues while improving relationship and communication skills. Do yourself a favour, if not for yourself then for those you care about. The time is now!

Find a Therapist

Individual counselling

For individual counselling or psychotherapy for anger issues see a map of Therapist locations or find an Auckland therapist by suburb.

Children and Teens

For children & teens see our child, adolescent and family specialists.

Anger Management Course

For an anger management group or individual programme contact see Aimi Tipton (Browns Bay) for further details.

NB: There are no more anger management courses running in 2014. Please contact Aimi Tipton so she can advise you of next year's courses or contact one of the other Auckland providers listed below

Other Anger Management Courses in Auckland

Other organisations that offer management courses:

  • Man Alive - Men Living Without Violence
  • North Harbour Living Without Violence
  • Shine - No Excuses Programme
  • Relationships Aotearoa - Stopping Violence