Anger Management Counselling
Anger Problems
Everyone gets angry sometimes - it's a natural human emotion. Healthy anger gives us energy to make constructive change and helps us stand up for ourselves. The difficult skill is either to be able to quell our anger or use it constructively. The trouble is when anger turns to aggression or festers on the inside.
It can be deeply humiliating to 'loose it' at work, overreact in a social situation or hurt someone we care about. It can result in people hurting themselves or hurting those around them and causing harm to themselves or their relationships. Loosing it can be very painful - it can take some people several days to calm down after becoming upset.
Yet holding on to anger can burn us up on the inside taking a toll on health and wellbeing. It may not be obvious on the outside but eating us on the inside, including stress, tension, insomnia, digestive problems, headaches, anxiety and depression. Some people deal with this in unhealthy ways such as alcohol, drugs, bullying, controlling or risk taking.
Anger Symptoms
Outward symptoms of unhealthy anger include:
- Relationship problems & break-ups
- Violence or aggression
- Lashing out - verbal or emotional outbursts
- Using alcohol or drugs to calm down (or wind up)
- Impulsive acts you later regret
- Overly controlling or critical behaviour
Inward symptoms of unhealthy anger include:
- Anxiety, tension, stress, being wound-up, headaches, etc
- Blame, self pity, remorse
- Guilt, shame, low self-esteem, loneliness
- Withdrawal, passive aggression, nursing grudges etc
- Emotional shutdown, fear, avoidance or depression
Patterns of anger include:
- Becoming angry quite often
- Often feeling frustrated and on the edge of anger
- Blaming others for 'making you angry'
- Feeling angry but afraid or unable to communicate it
- Not knowing why you are feeling angry
- Feeling out of control when upset
- Difficulty calming down
There Are Solutions
There are two steps required in working with anger. The first is anger management; that is practical help in controlling unhealthy anger and finding constructive alternatives. This requires gaining an understanding of your triggers so that early warning signs may be noticed and strategies developed for handling these. Clients are often surprised when a few simples changes in their life make a dramatic difference.
The second step is understanding the underlying reasons for anger and making sense of the . unresolved feeling. Counselling offers a non-judgemental space to explore underlying issues while at the same time developing practical anger management, self-awareness and communication skills.
Why Auckland Therapy
All of our team are experienced in working with anger issues. As psychotherapists we have a deep understanding of unconscious process, the impact of the past, relationship dynamics, and the interplay of thoughts, emotions and behaviour. We have the passion skills and knowledge to work with you in a respectful and constructive way.
What Next?
Congratulations on getting this far. Now its time to take the next step. Therapy provides a safe space to make sense of what is happening. It can help in identifying anger triggers, developing new coping strategies, resolving underlying issues while improving relationship and communication skills. Do yourself a favour, if not for yourself then do it for those that care about you. The time is now!
Adults & Couples
See a map of Therapist Locations or find Auckland Therapist by suburb or learn more about the Counselling Services we offer. (NB We do not offer anger management classes).
Children and Teens
See our child, adolescent and family specialists.